How Story Can Build The Most Legendary Connections
Try to think of a time in your past when someone told you a story.
For this exercise narrow this down to when a loved one told you a story. This could be a family member, friend, teacher, or mentor. Exclude stories that you have been told in any professional context.
Close your eyes and recall as much detail as possible about the teller, the time and place of the telling, and the narrative.
If you are like us, you will realize that a lot of the details are hazy. You remember being told the story, you firmly remember who told it to you, you may remember around what phase of your life this happened, and you abstractly recall elements of the story. But you are missing parts. You can’t recall the whole plot or the exact time and date. Now pay attention to how you feel.
Maybe a sense of warmth? Maybe a quickening of your heartbeat or a calm feeling flooding over you? Did you smile or change your facial expression in the process of remembering? If the teller is no longer living, you may start to feel an aching or longing for the person. If the teller is living, you may feel impulsively thankful for that person being in your life.
This is you remembering the connection, the bond you had or have with the storyteller. And you are proving in real-time that it is not the actual narrative that mattered, but the connection that it helped to build.
So how and why was this powerful connection that bridges space and time formed?
Because of focused attention.
Telling a story is not easy. It requires thought and presence of mind to create the narrative and share the details. By doing this, the teller is demonstrating to the listener that their full attention is fixed on them. They have limited all other distractions and are living with them in that moment.
How powerful is that! In this crazy, distracted world, where a million things are competing for our eyes and ears, we push these other things aside, we focus, someone speaks and others listen. Both the teller and the audience slip into a role, have their needs met, and feel seen and understood. Both sides are taking time out for each other.
There is a great quote in the book How to Tell Stories to Children, “When a child says “Tell me a story,” he is not asking for a narrative. He is asking for your attention.” (1)
Likewise, when the teller agrees to the story, they are saying “I am here, you have my attention, let me share something of myself with you.”
When the story is told by an adult to a child, it gives the all-too-rare opportunity for these two parties to bridge their generational gap and interact on a personal level. The teller is nurturing the listener by using that moment in time to care for and encourage their growth or development. (2)
This is Legendary Connection.
References:
Silke Rose West, Sarosy, J., & Green, R. (2021). How to tell stories to children. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
Margaret Read Macdonald. (1993). The storyteller’s start-up book : finding, learning, performing, and using folktales including twelve tellable tales. August House.
